J.Oser 2014

It Went Down Like This

The rabbit said, “You should eat more vegetables like I do.”
“But I like the taste of meat”, replied the raven.
“Did you know the amount of water that it takes to grow a pound of meat compared to a pound of wheat is like a hundred and fifty to one?”
The raven rolled his eyes, “So…what’s that got to do with me?”
“Well, we all live here so show some stewardship.”
“Well, we all live here so show some stewardship”, repeated the raven.
“Are you mocking me—bird?”
“Are you mocking me—bird?”
“Oh for Christ’s sake, what are we in kindergarten?”
“Oh for Christ’s sake, what are we in kindergarten?”
“Fuck you, you raven piece of shit.”
“Fuck you, you rabbit piece of shit.”

The rabbit, tired of the raven’s juvenile games, hopped away down the hill, across the drainage ditch, and tried to cross the road. But, blinded by his anger, he failed to look both ways, and a 16-year-old girl out for her first drive, a new learner’s permit neatly folded inside her purse, struck the rabbit with the bumper of her baby blue Volkswagen Beetle. She cringed as the thud resonated through the car’s metal frame, and pulled over to see just what in god’s name she had done.

The raven circled above.

The girl would not eat meat again for quite some time.