My bike told me to “screw-off” this morning.

She then went on about “how crap my behavior” becomes when I ride; that things were “fine” between bikes and cars long before I threw a leg over a top tube…long before even my grandpa got his hands oily tinkering with his first greasy two-wheeler. That we “fleshy, civilized, bipeds”, gripping handlebars or steering wheels, have gone and screwed up a perfectly good thing.

Just what “thing” was she talking about?

I flipped her off with a dismissive “Pfff”, she said “typical”, then called  me a “pig”.

                              I’ve got to get to the bottom of this.